Thursday, July 14, 2011

Words to Describe Me as a CAR Coach


10/7/2011 10:09: James Chia: If you could describe my coaching (its style or its impact on you or its result) in just 1 word, what would that word be?
10/7/2011 10:19: Hwee Suan: Encouraging
10/7/2011 10:20: James Chia: Thank you. 3 different words?
10/7/2011 10:44: Hwee Suan: Encouraging ... Giving hope ... Empowering
10/7/2011 11:05: Hwee Suan: U cd add inspiring
10/7/2011 11:15: James Chia: 3 words?
10/7/2011 11:15: Hwee Suan: Ya
10/7/2011 12:01: James Chia: Can I finish this off - the 3 most descriptive words on your experience of my coaching: Encouraging ... Giving hope ... Empowering...Inspiring (got 4 here)
10/7/2011 12:03: Hwee Suan: Ya
10/7/2011 12:03: Hwee Suan: More is better?
10/7/2011 12:04: James Chia: Top 3 pl
10/7/2011 12:17: Hwee Suan: Encouraging (includes giving hope) Empowering (I can do it!) n Inspiring (he has done it! His life works n he's successful)
10/7/2011 12:17: Hwee Suan: Makes sense?


JC: Yenni, If you could describe my coaching (its style or its impact on you or its result) in just 1 word, what would that word be?

YW: Love

JC: Loving?

YW: Ya better.



From: G P Yap Sent: Thursday, 14 July 2011 16:32


brazen, abrasive - no-nonsense now seems so gentle

I can see the insolence - but lovable

I think the word I was looking for is closer to "Incisive" - sharp, piercing to the core, quickly getting to the root cause


From: Hwee Suan Ang Sent: Wednesday, 13 July 2011 23:14

the word that replaces 'scary'?


i thought so. and then to be sure, i looked up and the meaning as defined there confirmed it for me:

1. extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless: an audacious explorer.
2. extremely original; without restriction to prior ideas; highly inventive: an audacious vision of the city's bright future.
3. recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; brazen.


On Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 5:23 PM, James Chia wrote:
Pl read also the PS at the very bottom of GP's reply.

Can you find the word/words that GP is looking for?

-----Original Message-----
From: GP Yap Sent: Tuesday, 12 July 2011 04:03 p.m.

HI James,

I'm sorry but I was probably not thinking too deeply when replying to your
sms using the words, "no-nonsense" and "dedicated".

I said before that you have the uncanny ability to sort out the wheat from
the chaff. You are able to distill what is important from what is not based
on a very strong set of values which helps me to be clear as to what the
important issues are. You also present your ideas with great clarity and
mostly in a very direct and confident manner. I admire all that in you and
frequently wish that I had those qualities. So how do I use just one word to
summarize that tough mindedness. Like the title of LKY's book, "Hard Truths"
(I like the title) which tells it like it is, your's is a "no-nonsence"
style that will enable me to succeed. As LKY cares deeply about Singapore
and it's people, you truly care about those around you. (Both of you are
often misunderstood by others) The word "no-nonsense" was not meant to strip
away any of the love and care that you have for your coachees. I was looking
for a very powerful, masculine word. I have yet to find the right one word.
Maybe you are !
so many one words, like caring, supportive, inspiring because you do
respond accordingly.

Hence the second word, "dedicated". You are dedicated to the success of the
people around you. You are dedicated to my goals and life. You are also
dedicated to your team, your family, your goals. In fact, you are dedicated
to almost everyone you know and in everything that you do. So when you asked
for a more positive word, that immediately came to mind.

I do hope that it explains why I used those words and it was used with the
greatest of respect for you.

With love and respect



Actually the first word that came to my mind was "scary" as I always thought
of you as someone who is not afraid of setting "harry, audacious goals".
Anyone of us would try to enroll 2 or 5 persons to Pei Yen's class, but you
chose to enroll 50 people. That's scary (in the good sense of the word) I
feel humbled and at the same time challenged by your action and imagination.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


The player must want to win more than the coach. When the player is ready, the coach appears. What a joy when a coach finds a coachable person! (James is Hwee Suan’s coach and the proposal is for James to coach G and Hwee Suan to coach L.)

Dear James & Hwee Suan,

Your sweet, thoughtful and encouraging emails came as a pleasant surprise! : )

I was just telling G tonight that I/we have gained so much since I entered NSE. I have personally grown, got to know so many friends than i have ever imagined in such a short time, and, what more, good people!!! I also told G, if I see everyone (even a housewife) can be successful in NSE, why not us? And I am sure we can succeed in this biz too!!!

And, seriously, without my journey to NSE, I wouldn't have switched and entered into the AW trainings. Credit is not NSE, it is you guys that make the difference for my possible switch. Without the safe and learning environment you have created in small group I wouldn't have survived or achieved results. As you know, I am extremely clueless about making $$$ but God has blessed me throughout my life! Being in NSE teaches me about living life. I really wish that I can keep this in mind so that I can focus my energy in NSE and achieve success. :)) Ahhh!!!!

I don't see in myself what you guys see in me. But after AW, I learnt to be more gracious with myself, accept it and look forward to discover myself what all of you see in me. So thanks. I am also excited and look forward to G's personal growth and his untapped potential.

Thanks! I appreciate this acknowledgment and love.

Sweet dreams...


Monday, April 4, 2011

Coach as Mirror

4 April 2011 from Hwee Suan's journal:

I became clear again as I explained to Karen and Woon why I ‘tolerated’ James’ coaching and way of being with me on occasions when he seems harsh.

I am in training and I don’t tell the coach how he should behave in training me. I am prepared to go through toughness to learn something.

I think James is just being a mirror of how people really feel inside of them but they don’t show it. So if I want to know the effect my actions have on people, he is best person to reflect that.

In this business, I choose who I want to follow and I have chosen, therefore, I will not go and start judging my coach and telling myself how he should behave.

Heart Open, Mouth Shut

28 March 2011

Dear coach,

You are a Jennifer Lopez at American Idol! Heartwarming with sincere love. I am really grateful for your graciousness. And see how she made all the contestant shine and be the best they can be!

Thank you...your mail makes me want to cry again...

I am an emotional person but hide it well. It takes a lot to drag me down to the other end of my emotional scale. I can't remember when was the last time I go so down! It does bring me a great pain to my heart. Have slept very little in the past few days...just can't sleep.

The decisive actions I want to take-

Thank you for not judging or criticizing me, with the situations I have been going through.

Love you coach from the bottom of my heart.


Belief Brightens

It was just a coffee with a coachee who I felt could do with some face-to-face time. This is what she wrote in her weekly journal (which I reproduce with permission).

28 March 2011:
“I had been crying so much about my $ situation and feeling so afraid. I had an unexpected session with James mid-week when I met him for late morning tea. It was really something, what James did for me. It wasn’t just the numbers which he sorted out for me, but his energy, his inspiration, his blast of sense and sensibility tempered with love and care … the strength of his emotions when he said that I am a lapis and he cannot bloody understand how I can be a lapis or why I am a lapis when I should be a blue diamond. His words hit me powerfully, went straight to my heart and I know that for this year, they will be an anchor for me when I feel directionless for Nu Skin. I felt energised after the meeting."

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Coach in His Community

I attended a training last weekend called Passion In Life (Basic). We had formed a Kick-Ass Group that was to have our first meeting on Fri 18 Feb at 5.30pm.

I received this SMS from S on Fri 18 Mar 2011 350pm:
Hi James tis is S. Please accept my apology for not coming for today's meeting. After knowing that most of them are in MLM and with you the leader and after much thought I think its better not to attend. My passion for real estate is too strong. Pls read my email. Tks.

My SMS reply:
I saw yr email buddy. I told you we will NOT talk about mlm or prospect you. Its ok, I accept your choice. I hope you don't mind I meet you on our own because I respect you very much -at 62yrs old still coming for training!! That is something I admire. I am sure I can learn from your attitude. We catch up next month as I am going to Paris next week. Thanks buddy, James

SMS from S:
Thank you. You are humble and a good leader. I am what I am is all due to my 20 yrs in real estate industry. Believe me - Its an aggressive and hard tactics field. I will love to meet-up after ur return. Cheer's. S

At 5.40pm, I was pleasantly surprised to see S turn up for our meeting and we were blessed by his eager sharing.

When S wrote that first SMS, I had a choice to be curt in my response or be kind and gracious. He was not my coachee. I celebrate that I chose to practise being kind and gracious. I practiced how I want my community to be.


I am blessed when a Coachee returns the favour of being a MIRROR for me.
This is what Hwee Suan wrote on 18 Mar 2011 - (I know, it's been a long time since I posted some of the miracles that have been happening in my life).

Dear Coach

I reflected on your 'habit' of giving hard-hitting comments to people. Like the ones you gave Y tonite.

I was kinda trying to get under the skin of James Chia. And this is what I thought.

Conventionally, we have been taught to “think before we speak, look before we leap”. presumably so we won’t say the wrong thing and hv to retract. so for me, before i give anyone any feedback, i think through a lot. so i won’t unwittingly say something hurtful to that person or make baseless statements or accusations. also so i won’t hv to eat my words. so i won’t look bad. it's all very reasonable.

but you, you choose to blurt out what u think. you trust yourself to speak the right things and u do not question your thots and feedback until they become diluted and 'reasonable'. (opposite of what u were doing with S). ok, i dont know if you trust yourself to speak the right thing. but you also do not go and phrase your feedback in PR acceptable language. (tat's why you risked and kena H saying things like “i don’t like that thing u said about .... its not true what u said about ... etc etc.” usually those things are not the point lah).

thing is, you'd rather be wrong than to say nothing or say something watered down. you are ok to kinda hantam or risk having the other party be upset or angry with u ... than to say nothing.

so you swim against the conventional wisdom or tide... you speak before you think away your sincere feedback ... u risk sounding and appearing arrogant, unreasonable, not nice ...

i get u. you are salt of this earth, you really are.